…and there’s nothing (and i think its not gonna be) special this december, the month that’s supposed to be about happiness and togetherness. Well so far, there’s any of it at all!
Apparently, this is gonna be my first Christmas without my mom because she left and went to another place called heaven with Uncle Jesus, and in some way I think this is gonna be hard for me. Actually my Christmas spirit vanished for a long long long time ago, I couldnt feel the excitement anymore when you decorate your Christmas tree and believe that there is a Santa, or when you go to church with your whole family and pray together! And now that there’s no mom around us is getting much more “un-Christmas” for me (and probably for my dad and my siblings too). Maybe that’s why I love being in Bandung, I think is better to be alone, all by myself than facing it at home! In fact, I love loneliness, it keeps me sane.
Am I whining? Am I too childish? Am I that weak? Am I insane because I love loneliness? This december would be about sadness and loneliness! *sigh*